Running; I hate it. Pretty much the only thing that keeps me doing it is the zombie race on the 1st. Also, getting skinny. I miss being skinny. While I was focused on Karl and cancer for two years, I put on an embarrassing nearly 40lbs. I've lost 10 so far, but I'm still in the low obese range of the bmi scale. That's pretty hard to admit. I always found an identity in being the "skinny girl," and I'm no longer skinny. I'm having trouble grasping the idea that I can still be attractive and struggling with not slipping back into a compulsive not-eating cycle. There are days I'm tempted to encourage old bad habits; calorie counting, extreme restriction, eating only negative-calorie foods. And other days, I fight the desire to eat nothing but Snickers and Pepsi. More often than not this month, I've been restricting. I'm disturbingly proud of a 700 calorie day. I've got enough of a grip to know that's disturbing, but not enough to care. Phentermine makes me forget to eat, too, and makes me able to be up at 6, skip my nap, and stay up until midnight. Also, my house has never been cleaner. Yay phentermine!