How are we doing?

This seems a popular question right now. I have a lot of messages I've been putting off, asking this very thing. The answer isn't exactly simple, though, you know? We're fine, could sum it up. Overall we're just fine. And we'll get better than that, too. I find that my life is moving forward easily, much easier than I think people think it "should." It hasn't been a month yet, but I am definitely ready for the rest of my life. I remember when all this started, reading on lung cancer support boards about widows who were dating again already after just a few months, or even weeks and thinking, wow. Really? But you know what, now that I'm living it myself, I can see it. Karl as the man I married, as a husband, was gone emotionally and intimately months ago. Nearly a year, really. I know that for those of you who weren't here to see how things unfolded in person, up close and on a day-to-day basis that might seem cold, but it's really not. A once every few months visit shows you very little about the reality of things, and it also means you'll have a harder time moving on. But now, life does go on. It has to. I had two years to come to terms with this, and the last few months really drilled it in. And there is nothing that will truly prepare you for losing someone like that, even the pain they're in and the personality changes and the dementia, but I think once the initial shock wore off, I was more prepared to move on and get on with life than if he had died back when he was initially diagnosed, like doctors thought he would. I'm so glad I had that two years, too. And I think for this reason, the kids are moving on easier, too. Luke and Olivia are nearly back to normal. Olivia still kind of clings to things that remind her, and she's been a little easy to set off, but her routines are mostly normal now, and she's fairly agreeable again. As agreeable as Olivia gets, anyway...  Luke got broody for awhile, but he's always been a little bit broody. He's doing his normal things again, too. Back to reading, video games, and being geeky. Seth is angry. But even that is calming down. He seems to have plateaued now, where we're having meltdowns and anger but it's not constant anymore. I have an appointment with his dr. next week to discuss meds to help him cope