My friend told me her husband asked if I'd married Greg for money. Bahaha! I'd certainly be disappointed if I had! She was worried I'd be mad. I definitely am not; amused is what I am. I married Greg because he's amazing, he's my best friend, and because no one has ever made me feel more loved and wanted and full. Because he's the first man who has encouraged me to grow. He challenges my mind and my heart. He accepts me as I am, and at the same time helps me to be the best woman I can be.
I knew how wonderful he was long before we were together, but what I knew then barely scraped the surface. What I know now makes my heart ache with happiness. I know that he's not just an amazing husband, but an amazing dad as well. He thinks about the kids, he praises their strengths and encourages them to grow and learn as well. His patience brings out the best in them. He gives them stability and affection and love. Yesterday, while Olivia read a book to him, he rested his head on hers and closed his eyes and at first I thought he was sleepy, but no... he was enjoying the time with our daughter. His daughter. He makes her feel treasured. He makes the boys feel respected and loved. There's nothing That makes me doubt that he deserves the title of "dad."
The kids don't call him dad -- well, Olivia does, about half the time. But they all insisted on giving him a good father's day. Cards, Candy, lunch, sleeping in. They all mentioned Karl briefly once or twice, why wouldn't they? We certainly don't want them to forget him. But they don't dwell on him. They have hit a point in their healing where they remember happily, but they are able to live in the moment and accept what is. People have said things that sound like the kids need a lot more time, that they should still be grieving. And maybe they are; a therapist once told me that the grieving process is sometimes never completely gone, that sometimes we keep revisiting it or coming across triggers for years after. And every now and then, one of the kids says they miss Karl, and they say what they need to and we listen and respond. But for the most part, the kids accept what is and are happy and adjusted better than I could have imagined. They're resilient. They're strong. They have the ability to heal that we lose as we get older, physically and emotionally. I think that going through everything we went through helped them grow. They're strong because they went through what, by all rights, could very well break a person and they pushed through it. They were tested beyond what a kid should Have To endure. They saw things no kid should have to and are still able to laugh and be kids, are still able to celebrate the things they have.
My kids are amazing, inspiring little people.
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