I spent the last twenty minutes reading back through my blog, and I am surprised. Because the feelings I am reading hardly seem like they happened to me. It's like reading about someone else... but at the same time I remember feeling them all acutely. Is it terrible that I don't miss him? Not even a little bit. The kids ask if I do, and Greg asks if I do, and I usually find some PC answer to give, like, "I miss the way he was before cancer," but even that isn't true. I loved him dearly. He was a good husband and a fantastic father. But I don't miss any of it. And I wouldn't bring him back if I could, sick or healthy. All of that life is gone and I am happy with what I have now and the future is exciting. And I don't feel guilty about any of it. I think most of Karl's family is still mad at me. It's something they have to work through on their own, and if they do, great for them; either way, my life moves on. But I think of them and I care about them and wish them the best. We've been in Plano for 6 1/2 months now. Greg and I got married in December. Things are normal again. Life is steady and stable. My parents moved to town this weekend, and we're all ecstatic! Free babysitting! Greg has been an amazing husband and dad. I have a level of partnership I've never had before. Greg is very hands-on with the kids and they love it. They thrive on it. Seth feels secure, and I haven't had to get him from school in a while. And we haven't had any melt-downs at home in just as long. It's been really good. He handles ME really well, too. And that says lot, because I'm a neurotic little ball of hyper. Impulsive. I see what I want and I make it happen. This means on any given day, Greg might come home to a neon yellow bathroom, or a giant cat poster on the wall (there is indeed a giant cat poster on my family room wall now...) or to find that I've completely redone the bedroom (guilty!). But he's known me for 8 years, and he knew what he was getting into, so really, he should just sit back and enjoy the ride.