I'm so dizzy and slightly nauseated this morning. But my HPTs are still negative as of this morning. Buuut, a friend of mine who's done this more than once says she's had them come up negative right up until the day before her beta and that was definitely positive... Mine is tomorrow. I'm anxious. So, so anxious.

 Our house was under contract the same day it went on the market, but the buyer got cold feet, and after coming back to look at it twice (both times with me dragging all three dogs and kids out of the house, a pain in the ass!) they backed out. Urgh. It's ok. We had no less than thirty requests to see it, in the one day it was up. We'll get them again. It's just sooo frustrating to have lost five days on the market. We aren't showing again until tomorrow, because I've got things to do -- Maximus and JD need shots so we can put them into doggie daycare if we have another full day of showings like we'd have had Friday if we hadn't accepted that off. It's just not fair to have THREE dogs cooped up in a car all day, and I can't handle all three at once on the leash! The Maxes are both over 80lbs and JD is only 30, but he's a solid little brick. I think I'd put Maxwell and JD in daycare and keep my stalker out to hang out. I can get out of the car with one dog... and he doesn't do so well with strange dogs, so I'd be anxious all day with him in daycare.

 Six days! I'm twitchier by the day. I need to know! I bought a three pack of cheap-o pregnancy tests to see if the HCg is out of my system. That was Tuesday. And as of yesterday, they're still coming up positive. I was hoping it would be out of my system so I can neurotically pee on sticks this weekend and they'd be more accurate, but with all the false positives, I'll never know. Boooo. Of course, maybe it just won't ever leave my system, if the cycle worked! No gap between the trigger and real HCg produced Gah, I'm dying here.

 I've found the secret to the shots; if I bend over a little, it barely stings. It still bruises, but it's much easier going in (that's what she said?).

 We got our pictures of the house done yesterday and hopefully it'll be listed this afternoon! Houses are selling pretty fast out here right now, so if all goes well we won't be here much longer! The boys are SO ready to have their own rooms. And I am so ready to have them separated a bit more. The house we want is still there, so we're just hoping it stays around until we're ready! It's perfect, too. Bigger than I like (I love tiny houses, and always wanted to get by on 1000sqft or less, but no one else agrees), but perfect anyway.

Our transfer went really smoothly yesterday! We showed up half an hour early, I had to pee desperately, but luckily they got me in right away. I love that this place always gets me in within a few minutes of showing up, even when I'm very early.
 So in the room, I took my valium and waited, ready to pee so bad it was all I could think about, laying there with my feet in the stirrups. Then the embryologist came in with a printout. All three of our embryos made it to a viable status! Even the gimpy one! The one we implanted, though, was "textbook perfect quality," and apparently we couldn't ask for a better embryo. We watched on screen while they transferred it to the top of my uterus and now we have a picture of a little speckle on a screen, and on the 29th we find out whether or not it took! I'm not sure I can wait nine days, though I know it's really my only choice; the HCg is probably still in my system right now, but the embryo hasn't been in long enough to implant, so any test I take would be a false positive for sure. I'm going to twitch for the next 8 days.

OK the progesterone is getting old fast. My back is feeling awful bruised this morning. Today is the embryo transfer, though! I'm not sure how long I have to take the progesterone shots after this, but I'm going to find out because I am ready for them to be done with. I know they have a purpose and they'll be worth it when I'm squishing my brand new baby, but right now they just suck.

 After today's transfer, I have to wait NINE DAYS to test. I'm not sure I can wait that long, so I'll probably test early and get my hopes all up for nothing, because there's still HCg in my system from the trigger so obviously it's going to be positive for a few days more, anyway. Though maybe it will be satisfying to see the damn positive after all those months of negatives, even if I know it's a false positive. Probably not satisfying. Probably just depressing.

 I'm really torn on today's to-do list. I'm supposed to take it easy the rest of the week, after the transfer, so my major cleaning has to be done today if it's going to be done. But it really doesn't need to be done that bad this week, we've really kept on top of all of the minor things we usually let slide over the weekend. But I'd like to get some things done, because we're having the pictures done to list the house on Wednesday. I think I can get by with dusting and sweeping and letting the kids clean their bathroom and carry laundry. I hope. Also, the kids are home today and I think it would be nice to just hang out with them. Maybe kick their asses in Injustice (though if I'm being real, Luke is going to kick MY ass over and over -- he's amazing on Ares)

 Two of our three embryos are thriving! The third is still kicking, but smaller than is generally expected to survive. I'm not counting it out until it's out, though. The embryologist said you never know, the tiny ones can still make it, but as of right now it will probably not be a viable option for transfer. 2 is a really good number, though!

 My back is bruised, where I've been stabbed with a jabby needle for three nights now. We alternate sides, of course, but still, it's a bit sore... the first night, no pain. Nights 2 and 3, just a little pain with the injection and some itching as it goes in. The needle is a little bigger than the ones I used for the other hormones before the retrieval and we're using an oil-based solution, so it goes in slower and stays in a lump at the injection site longer. A little soreness isn't a surprise, but it does kind of suck.

 I was really worried about OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome) for a few days. I got all bloated and had a lot of sharpish pain in the area of my ovaries and the morning-sickness-like symptoms got a lot worse. I was supposed to take in a lot of high sodium foods to prevent OHSS -- the extra sodium in my blood apparently helps to draw out excess fluids from the follicles that might fill up with fluid after the egg retrieval -- but I didn't take in enough, apparently. After yesterday and today, though I think I've fixed that. I am still bloated but it's from eating ALL THE SODIUM. And it was delicious.

 The progesterone shot I was dreading turned out to be not bad at all. Just a quick stick and some light pressure. It's mixed in oil so it takes some time getting it all in, but it doesn't hurt. For weeks, I've been eyeballing the needles and feeling sick over it. As it turns out, the big needle was just for sucking up the oil, because it's thick, and because multiple jabs dull the needle. I put on a much smaller needle when it's time for the poke. Greg does the poke, because it's intramuscular and just at the top part of my butt; hardly reachable myself. He was pretty scared about it, too, and the petrified look on his face helped me to be more amused than scared myself. And then he did it, and I barely knew, though the spot itched for a few hours, and there was a lump underneath because the oil takes time to disperse. So I just keep on taking this, apparently, until I'm told to stop. I'm just glad the steroid is over. I feel so puffy! All of these hormones are the devil. But hopefully, we have another nine months of those ;)

We're listing our house for sale next week, too! We want a room for each of the existing kids, plus a room for the baby when we eventually get it, even though I'm pretty insistent on baby sleeping with me for the first year or so, at least. We found an AMAZING house, right at the top end of our price range, and it has six bedrooms, not the five we need, plus a den. I've always wanted a tiny house and I still do, but being the only one here who does, I suppose popular demand can be an important thing to consider. And a house with room to move turns out to be easier to clean than was the 800sq ft trailer we moved out of in Paulden. Or at least, to keep appearing clean. There's a lot more places to hide things if someone's coming over last minute. Not that anyone does, but if they did!

 So now I'm just sitting here typing, and I've realized that two of the three kids have still not emerged from their bedrooms, and I'm starting to feel concerned that maybe they aren't as ready as they should be at this point in the morning for leaving on time. This is all kind of foggy in my brain right now, though, being pre-coffee and full of fuzzbrain-making hormones. I suppose now's as good a time as any to start the day...

 Out of our four eggs, we had THREE fertilize normally! I have three babies growing up there in the lab! I'm so excited! They expect about half -- 1 or 2 -- to become viable for implanting. I'm hoping for two in case we need another cycle, but really, it just takes one! My transfer day is Monday, and then nine days after that I go back for a pregnancy test. I'm so giddy right now! Totally worth all these hormones, in the end. Tonight I start the progesterone shots. Not looking forward to them AT ALL. But it'll be ok!

 It's taking ALL of my willpower to not buy cloth diapers and car seats and all the cute baby things I see. I have to go out today, so there's a good chance I'll come home with some cute fluffy butt diapers. I'm feeling so hopeful, and I'm really not capable of turning it down.

 This month has been VERY HORMONAL. Which is to say, I've been a horrendous bitch. I started my first IVF cycle and the hormones are really killing me. I'm glad to have such a patient man because they'd probably also be killing a lesser one.

 I started out giving myself just one shot a night, for two weeks. Then we added in a second shot a night for one week, and that one burned like hell. It felt like a bee sting and made me whiny. Monday, I triggered ovulation with another shot, and since I haven't had to take any! Yay! Though we found that only one ovary responded to the hormones that matured several eggs, and we don't know why but apparently it happens sometimes.

 This morning, I went in for my egg retrieval, and I'm a little worried because they were only able to get four eggs, and we don't know anything about the quality/maturity of those eggs yet. I'm waiting for that phone call, pretty anxiously. If none of the eggs we got are viable for baby-making, we have to cancel this cycle. I don't know if that puts us out the money or what, or what it means for the next cycle. So we're just praying that everything comes together well.

 In the meantime, I'm just a little sore. They knocked me out with IV sedation, which was much easier to come out of than general anesthesia. I don't come out of that well at all, and it takes me like a week to be fully awake and comfortable, compared to the day or two they say it should take. With the sedation, though, I was up and walking and craving McDonald's pretty much right away.

 Anywho, that's that and now we're just praying for the best!